Frustration

How do you feel when somebody has just made your day in the most amazing way and then someone else appears and ruins it all?

I sometimes wonder how people can be so blinded. Some people just go in circles all the time and they don't effin realize it. The subdue to whatever feeling is overwhelming them in that moment and then when a new one (sometimes negative, sometimes good) appears they subdue to it as well. Why can't they just opt for what's better for them? Why can't they just opt for what could make them the happier? Why can't they decide to stay in the right emotional cycle which is also the decision with the most benefits? Why can't some people just realize that they are empowered to actually fight those bad cycles too in order to achieve a more productive, care-free and happier life?

I happen to have someone who seems not to be able to do this. This person just subdues and never fights negative feelings which in the end when they leave him, seem to make him feel regretful of the things he didn't do but also, sometimes, of the unnecessary stupid things he did. This person seems not to have the will power of deciding to fight negative feelings but why? I wish I knew.

I've tried to convince this person of taking advantage of the good cycles. When he is energetic and clear minded but instead, again, when he is in a good emotional cycle he decides to do only the things which seem the easiest and within his comfort zone. I've tried to convince this person that when one has the most energy and positivism, it is exactly then when we should focus on the things we didn't get done during our bad times and even dare to challenge ourselves to boost up our self esteem, therefore preventing bad cycles from happening to soon and unexpectedly.

But he just don't have the power to do that.

And it's so frustrating.

You know? When you try to help someone and that person doesn't want to be helped and prefers to stay in his/her comfort zone because they are afraid of changes? They wish they'll get better but they just wait for a miracle. Or even worse, they say they try but it doesn't seem to work?

I'd like to know, if someone out there reads this, if there is a way to make someone understand that they should live life at its most and take each and every opportunity to improve and achieve happiness.Thank you.

One of those days...when I'm angry at the world

Today I feel like everyone hates me ...
It seems like everything that comes out of my mouth is meant to make somebody angry at me or make somebody hate me. I say things and I don't even know how they end up so badly  in the ears of other people. When all I want to do is take part of a conversation and two minutes later I end up ostracized instead of part of that group of people I so want to be part of. No, I'm not a teenager; for why I consider this to be more than an age issue. I'm dealing here with people not only of my age but also people way older than me...and as if that wasn't enough, I'm actually making people I care for feel bad as well. I want to think it is because I'm probably not thinking about what I'd say before I say something but actually I think it's a different problem.
I haven't figured it out yet but yesterday for example, I even ended up fighting with y boyfriend. He is going through a really difficult moment in his life. Some sort of depression that I, myself, also suffered and luckily manage to overcome a few months ago. I feel bad.
I don't like myself being like this right now. I want to change things and for a moment they do but then, as soon as i forget to be cautious and i go back to being myself it happens again.
I have so many good things and people around me but somehow I happen to be one of those human beings who tend to focus on the bad things ....
These days I feel like my life is an overall distraction. I sometimes kind of lose faith on the things I know I can actually do. Other times even, lose hope for everything. Nevertheless I am not depressed but otherwise bored.
Bored of life being so fucking hard sometimes. Bored of watching people around me having it so much easier yet complaining about everything. Tired of watching people not being the best of themselves. Yes. I'm no one to tell people what they should or should not be but it feels like no one appreciates what they have and it feels fucking selfish of them to not realize that.
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'm growing mad at people and my body is somehow trying to send that message out to the world. "I hate you all" it says. My soul and good heart try to fight it but in the end they relinquishes out of tiredness. "There's no point; you're nothing but another human" It replies.
"Nothing but a human.."
I wish ..
Sometimes I wish I could change it ...
This inner frailness,
this weight on my shoulder this...
I don't know...